I don't want to see anyone, don't want to be near anyone.
All the cars, all the people, they just keep coming at you. It never stops, it is endless. A sea of smartasses who need to be shown that there will be consequences for all of their actions.
All of them are just no damn good. The trash man who said something smart to me the other day, so cool hanging on the side of the trash truck. The rude hostess at the Mexican restaurant, the ass who cut me off in traffic, Oh! How about the jerk who won't let you in when your lane is ending? Oh, you are so tough with your white shirt and tie, so safe behind your who- knows- how- much- you- paid -for- it- but- its- much -more- than- my- salary car that I would not be caught dead in. Hell, you can't hunt or fish or put a muddy Labrador retriever in it, so what good is that? Status? Status doesn't mean a damn thing to me. You will crumble just like everyone else.
I can do without them all, every single one of them.
All these people, all the talking, all the meaningless crap that everyone is spewing out of their overused traps. Goddam, just sit there once and look around , observe , don't talk about yourself, about how you look, or if your profile is up to date. Sit.
And then
I am walking with my kids on the boardwalk of a crowded beach resort. Man, the humanity. And I have to be ever vigilant with my five year old so that some sick bastard doesn't try to nab him when I am not looking. What kind of sick world do we live in today? Bunch of weirdo's , man. I see it in their eyes when I look at them. How do they live? How do they make it through life? I see them smile at my kids and I want to break appendages off of them. What the hell are you smiling about? I picture myself hitting them as hard as I can, right in the throat. I picture myself, with my knife, slicing them up as they reach for my son.
Ever vigilant, ever wary, ever alert. Stay sharp, stay ready, keep training. Listen to everything that Green Beret Tim Kennedy says, and listen to soldiers and cops talk about the dregs of society. They have seen the worst, they know just how bad it can get and how very quickly it can go bad. My detective buddy goes to Chuck E Cheese with his granddaughter and keeps his hand on his pistol the whole time that he is there, watching because of the scumbags that he has dealt with on the job. Oh, you are so paranoid, says one of my lawyer friends. Really? Last I checked, there was a convicted child molester living in my neighborhood. LIVING. Get the rope out and slap the horse right in the ass. Giddyup.
Just get gone
It all makes me want to go so damn far out in the country that nobody can mess with me or mine. And not just for the kids sake , for everything and everybody and for sanity.. Try being around people for an extended period of time, or even a short period of time. And when it comes to training with weights, especially when it comes to training with weights, people are so full of excuses that I don't even bother. Excuses. I don't feel well, I have a pain right here, I didn't sleep well last night, I have a cold, I, I, I I, I. Too much, because I could care less, I just want to train and I gave up on pretty much everybody a long time ago. Because when I am ready to go, I am ready to go. Screw your gym bag or your pre workout or your special outfit. You should have been ready. Look at your phone once and I am gone. Most of the time I train solo, I squeeze out the reps, I do 10 sets or 20 sets or 6 reps or 50 reps and I don't have to explain myself one bit.
It could be so perfect
I see this picture: A cornfield. Cut out of the cornfield is a path. Follow it and you will see my cabin. It is summer and it is 5:30 AM. Feel the heat starting to rise up and hear the hum of the locusts as a far away glint of daylight starts to become visible. My family is inside the cabin, sleeping. Safe. My dog and I are training. I am squatting on an old pair of York squat stands. Between sets, I throw a bumper for my Labrador to retrieve. She brings it back and it is time for my set. She watches me dutifully. Five reps done and I throw it again. And again. Sometimes, after she gets all heated up, I tell her to, "Get some water," and she runs down to the pond and launches herself into the cool water. She swims and drinks and then returns to me. Time for a set. I can't think of a finer life. No phones buzzing, no music, no talking. Just life, my life, pure and simple and cut and dried, and just what I want it to be.
