I have to admit that I feel sorry for folks.
I have sympathy for those who are down on their luck, and for those who are sick. Also, for people who need someone but don't have anyone. I feel bad for kids with awful parents or no parents at all. I feel for kids who can't make friends easily and don't understand that as they get older, they will find those with interests similar their own and the sky will open up some for them a little. I especially feel sorry for the shy kid who wants to hide instead of facing anything new.
That was me as a kid. So shy that I would shake when I would meet new people or even when I would walk into a room with people that I already new. Never wanted to go away to camp, just wanted to stay in my comfortable surroundings. It changes , and at some point, I changed. I just forced myself to do uncomfortable things over and over. That awful feeling, that shyness, that feeling of dread, never really goes away. At some point everyday, I feel a little pang of it. Even leaving my family to go to work messes me up a little. So I just start walking out the door and I don't look back. I turn it around in my head, look at it as a foe that I must defeat.
You feel it coming and you almost welcome it, because you beat it before and now you can beat it again.
One of my son's is like that and when I see that scared, shy look on his face, it takes me back to my childhood and I feel my love for him deep in my gut and I know that I do the wrong thing by smothering him with hugs when all of this happens, but I can not help myself. He looks up at me with those brown eyes and I can feel what he is feeling and I think that he knows it too. And so I hold onto him real tight until I feel him relax and feel safe. Those hugs help us both feel safe.
